What I Wanted to Say Over a Glass of Wine 

The plan
A glass of wine shared between two adults

The setting

The back porch
The moon hanging overhead
Sounds of the neighborhood carrying on in the distance 

I confess
To what I’ve been feeling
The emotions
Building over years and years
Of wanting 

I waited
I suffered
I told myself
I had to deny
All urges
All desires
It wasn’t meant to be 

You would understand
You would give permission
To be myself
Like your son

We’d finish the bottle
Perhaps a hug
The night would conclude 

Instead
Your excitement
Bubbling
Overflowing
Dominating all conversation
As you always do

He speaks
You respond
I’m silent

The gestational carrier
Waiting for her turn in the wings

I grab the bottle from the counter
I sit at the kitchen table
After pouring my glass

I sip
I watch
Hoping that the scenario will magically change

The screen goes black
And life carries on

Samantha Slaven is a poet living with her husband, Shawn, and dog, Vader, in Suburban Philadelphia. Samantha’s previous work can be found in the Spring 2023 issue of the Horror Zine Magazine, the Pup Pup blog of Meow Meow Pow Pow Lit (November 2023), and issue six of Collide Zine.