Christopher Barnes: “Almanac 1-5”

Almanac (1)

Slacken uneasy laces.
Tilt off your beetle-crushers.
Recline on at-ease divan.
Block up tired-to-death eyes.
Still, the horror will come.

Almanac (2)

Underbreath a flapdoodle jingle.
Smarten haughty poses.
Manoeuvre noon undistracted.
Nobody knows
What’s in the top drawer.

Almanac (3)

Souse tepid water, unlocking pores.
Mask yourself in foam.
Bar lucidly with nippy razor.
A disembodied face in the mirror
Twists its rawboned scream.

Almanac (4)

First-blush what’s prospected.
Sham entertained as upright.
Categorical delights for the hereafter.
Annulment tags behind marriage.

Almanac (5)

Coax placid overtures.
Wrangle loose-fitting emptiness.
Inspect pass-muster bedding.
Long for good dreams, stretch –
midnight will devour you.


In 1998, Christopher Barnes won a Northern Arts writers award. In July 2000 he read at Waterstones bookshop to promote the anthology Titles Are Bitches. Christmas 2001 he debuted at Newcastle’s famous Morden Tower doing a reading of poems. Each year he read for Proudwords lesbian and gay writing festival and partook in workshops. 2005 saw the publication of his collection LOVEBITES published by Chanticleer Press, 6/1 Jamaica Mews, Edinburgh. In August 2007, he made a film called ‘A Blank Screen, 60 seconds, 1 shot’ for Queerbeats Festival at The Star & Shadow Cinema Newcastle, reviewing a poem…see www.myspace.com/queerbeatsfestival  He has also written Art Criticism for Peel and Combustus magazines.

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